Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Really have no specific reason I haven't posted in a long time. I've struggled w/ my sinuses since September. my dog was having eating issues and I have been doing a lot of reflecting an soul searching. Life's full of choices and many of the choices Bill made were not choices I would have made. I will never forget when he said "I don't understand you. Why don't you keep your job in the factory?". He was proud of retiring early. He did so by working 12 hr days mostly 7 days a week for 20 to 25 years. He didn't take vacations. I thought a lot about how I've lived the last 25 years. Until my Dad was diagnosed with cancer I made it to 2 or 3 concerts a year. In the last 25 years I've made it to 8. I've taken 2 vacations. I thought about how much hunting used to mean to he, Dad & I. I also finally realize what my classmates meant when they would tell me "I could walk out and be hit by a car today!"...it just meant we're not promised tomorrow. I've spent more time at the cabin in the last month than I have since Johanna quit coming up here due to health matters. I went to Pheasant fest. I talked to doctor Hogarth about big game hunting and altitude and I made maple syrup for the first time in 29 years. Bill desires were real but, his expectations were not. I am charting a new course and decided I don't want to miss a thing. I am signed up to volunteer for the Horribly Hilly Hundreds metric century so I secure my ability to compete in it next year. It is one of the Midwests most prestigious bike trek and much more difficult than the Dairyland Dare but in a cooler month. I think next year I will hire a personal trainer to try to take my athleticism to a higher level. Don't know if I can do it but, I don't know that I can't either. I know that if I don't try I will never know. Always set the bar a little higher than you think you can go or you will never know what your true capacities are.