Poker Hands & Crossroads Part 2

I will never forget him saying with great pride "I worked 12 hr days mostly 7 days a week for twenty to twenty five years!". I was never sure if he was dealing with a miss handled poker hand or reached a crossroads. Partly he was dealing with a poker hand but, part was by mental warfare by outside parties who were poorly educated. Myself 25 years ago my Dad passed away and at the time I thought I made a good decision to return to college 4 months after he passed.I was Fathers co caregiver. Got up 3x a night to get him situated, came home at 11am to dress him for radiation treatments, went back to work, came home and fed and/or sat with him, did all the shopping and med pick ups. I think with inflation his med copays today would be around $750 - 850 dollars a month. Took money to my Moms best friend to pay for a winter coat for my Mom (I knew Noreen was the one person who could talk Mom into running down mainstreet naked but wouldn't) told her to say she wanted to buy her a winter coat (all Mom had to wear in December was an unlined leather jacket). We couldn't afford Mom to get sick or Dad would likely not been able to live his last months at home with some semblance of normalcy. It was a choice to return to college so soon after Dads passing that today I regret. Life is full of choices and we don't always recognize till decades later that it was. Hence the poker hand analogy.

I learned a lot about mental health issues as a result of my interaction with Bill. I also saw myself having made similar choices to his that I concluded weren't particularly healthy. Last July my part time boss and I had a discussion about me not going to work fulltime for him. He brought up pressing the pause button and I guess I took it to heart. Bills behavior was very confusing and unerving. The last thing he said to me was "Everybody wants." I spent my time very differently the last year. The end result was I found that calmness I had wanted but, seemed to allude me for 25 years. I spent endless hours at the cabin my family built on land that has been in my family 98 years. I enjoyed it the most I had in 30 years despite owning it 25 years.

There is no nice way to say this but, I suspect his behavior is compliments of GM UAW. Not all UAW's are equal. I have lost all the friends I had that went to work for GM. I have never once lost a friend who went to work for Fiat Chrysler. My next truck will be a dodge or a jeep. Fiat Chrysler UAW knows how to butter their bread!

Aside from Bill sells his soul to win the world. There are a couple of other interesting and funny realizations, experience and adventures to share. When Dad was dying one day he turned to me in his hospital bed and looked me square in the eye and said "Kate, if I'm not here next year will you make sure the duplex is painted?" All I could think of at the time is all I want Dad to worry about is fighting the cancer. Without a second thought looked him square in the eye and unflinchingly said "Yes, I will Dad." It never hit me I had a brother and three BIL's at the time who he could have asked but, didn't. For a man born in 1923...that is a powerful testimony! I also got the hollowed out black walnut tree taken down that he was always worried about falling on the house, snowshoed to cabin to recover 2 guns my oldest sister and brother were willed and drove down to Arizona to help Mom get situated in the condo they had bought sight unseen the summer before.

As I spent more time in the woods at the 70 I realised why I went to school for agriculture. It's because I love all living things, the outdoors and I am an outdoors women through & through! I walked downstream one day crusing for dead, diseased and blown down trees for heating the cabin and cooking maple syrup. I glanced across the creek at the hillside and was blown away by the beauty of the woods I had forgotten. I decided I wanted to explore the 30 acres on the other side of the creek I hadn't walked on in 20 years. I decided to buy a gps. Bought that day before opening gun deer season. Took all my vacation this year as vacation (neither Bill or I ever took vacation). I picked up a 1986 Yamaha Moto 4 w/ reverse for my friends who are 65 & 70 I had invited up to get in n out the 1.2 miles to cabin. In the end it proved to be quite the godsend to me. My coworker told me I could coast it down hill and throw it into gear to make it start if I wanted to. Having a lot of fun with that. Me and my llewellin setter spent most of the fall at the cabin. Even during the week. Got more done kept feeling better and better about the state of the cabin. And she didn't mind the eggs for breakfast with Mom or that the wheeler made it easy for me to keep up. She and I had a little routine. She got up, I let her out, left door open, go for a romp, come back for a drink, go for another romp, comeback and crawl back in bed to snuggle with me. She sure has a rough life doesn't she! : -)

Two days before opening gun deer season started looking around for a crossbow in muddygirl print. In the process found one by a mfg I didn't know made one. Better bow, better price. Experienced deer fever for the first time in 22 years. Amazed!! Will not be running for supervisor for mutiple reasons. Staying at my current employer simply due to the amount of time off a yr Ihave reached. My buddy David and I couldn't come to agreement on where to elk hunt so instead will be hunting TX, NM,CO & OK. I also am going to try to fit in MI,MN & NY hunting this next year. I believe my metric century days are behind me and my adventuring days are ahead of me. I may try the keto diet. I have a few friends on it pleased with the results.

Sunday night I visited with a buddy. He's done 3 tours of duty in Nam. He's 68 yrs old and by the end of the four hours I realised Bill and I are polar opposites. He's boarder line courageous and I'm boarder line fearless. I come from a long line of dreamers, darers and doers! My great great uncle launched the cyclone motorcycle (which was ahead of his time), my great grandfather followed the gold rush to Colorado amongst other daring feats, my Dad with a buddy at 18 built a diving helmet and my cousin on my Mothers side owns a clothing company. Why wouldn't I dare to dream???

I bought a website for business purposes called Tailstrailsandtales.com on my way to work Friday. I have 3 different businesses in various levels....incubation, midway and active right now. The website will be a catchall for now. 

Keep seeking knowledge, don't give up and keep hoping!