Choosing Your Battles...Lessons Learned

I deleted my previous post. Unfortunately I can get overly emotional like my Dad did. Try to keep some of the good from the deleted post I decided to post a more thoughtful and meaningful post.

I learned a lot from the lost love experience. I thought about a lot of things I had not thought about in years and realised some things, too. I learned I crafted a glass ceiling for myself that didn't even exist. I recognized I worked to much that even if the right one came along or this one left returned I could never make it last because I didn't have the time to invest to nurture it. Relationships are like gardens. They need attention. If you don't give them attention they disappear. I had become complacent and unintentionally begun to let alpha1 own me instead of me owning the disease. July 4th I texted T Man my merchandising boss saying I want next summer off. I spoke to him later in the week and explained some things have happened that made me realise some things and I want to train for the Dairyland Dare which is very difficult. I have since reflected more and decided that paring down my construction goals this fall will allow me to extinguish more debt, if I got the syrup revenue pegged correct I will make twice as much money as I do merchandising, with half the time invested in syrup making I would be able to quit merchandising all together. Less work = more of a personal life.

As for what was or wasn't lost it could have been for any number of reasons. Possible scenarios are is was a mistake, a come on, cold feet. Also, I thought about my late sister and how excessively over protective of me. Could have been his adult children. He's got children & grandchildren. Reality of the distance between us literally. Also, I recall a teacher who taught under my Dad's leadership. He married this well respected realtor and George and Sharon were clearly equally yoked or in Dads words "wore well together". There teenaged children could not/would not try to get along. They tried everything to make it work for 18 months and finally gave up because of the children. Those didn't care about anybody but, theirselves. I had a coworker once tell me he had a friend who told him before he retired arrange appts for things YOU want to do. Your kids can run you ragged if you're not careful. Most good parents love their children without reservation including my Dad. I wonder sometimes if he would have told some of us no once in a while if he would not have been more appreciated.

My retired former coworker said that guys like him who work insane hours have a hard time adjusting to retirement. They sometimes wish they had never retired. Theydon't know what to do with theirselves and can be real a holes for a while. It usually takes 2 - 3 years before they acclimate. Some never do! I gotta believe that he will. He used to have several hobbies. Racing pigeons, hunting, fishing, trapping and collecting mustangs (cars). He clearly doesn't have hisself together like he used to I hope he does sooner or later. He can be such a kind man.

I am down 11 pounds. I'm doing the right stuff!! I got 39 pounds to go. I initially wanted to just finish the Dairyland Dare but, I've decided I want to up the ante! I now want to finish in 8 hrs. My thoughts are if Shirley Dennis could do the Big Ride Across America through mountains averaging 60 miles a day on a bike @ I want to say 19% lung function w/ oxygen assistance. Why can't I at 45% lung function do 65 miles in 8 hours on much lower elevations??? Either way by next August I want a smokin' hot bod and I'm gonna keep it , thank you!!